Maradonia and the Seven Bridges

Disgusting, no? I found the file where I saved the first forty pages at school, when I should have been revising – rather like now – and thus I offer you a few of my favourite parts. It’s too long to post it all here. In fact… I’ve set up a page with it all on, found here.

I don’t own any of it, so the copyright is entirely upon Gloria Tesch of Maradonia.com. I promise. It’s not my fault.

Anyway, lol at this:

…the feast was being prepared at the palace of ‘Apollyon, the King of the Evil Empire’

I kid you not. That is it. She so used italics and quotation marks. She so started a novel with elipses. She so called the Empire the “Evil Empire”.

I mean, what? Did Hitler say “Vote for Evil Nazis! Slaughtering your family with you in mind!”

… or maybe Stalin:

“All people are equal, but some are more equal than others, like you. Don’t vote and we come round to your houses and butcher you like dogs!”

No! It didn’t happen! That’s why we need to care. I feel sorry for this guy. I mean, everyone’s insulting him and he’s done nothing wrong, and now he’s got an army of psychopathic teenagers with knives (chavs) knocking on his door. I’m rooting for him.

This is not who I think should be the good guy in her novel:

Unless, of course, they have good reason. They don't.

Tesch also thinks that empires are ruled by kings. She also thinks that people vote for kings. In fact, so does Paolini. Notice the similarities?

And yes, this book was self-published. And not to have a dig at home-schooled people, but Tesch was. In other words, her lack of cohesion with society and the fact that her parents are practically controlling and brainwashing her, everything they say boosts her ego with fear of upsetting her. Same thing with Paolini, only he’s a good salesperson, regardless of his crap writing.

Oh, and how could I forget? Her alter ego, hotrussian101, who decided to swear at me and try some terrible insults, posted a video of her fighting some girl called Cassie. When I drew it to her attention, she took it down, obviously to avoid bad publicity. I shall post some her “insults”, lol.

Still in suspense?

Lookies here:

I’ll pick out some more exciting things in the video spork, which will be posted on here and YouTube! When it comes out. Of course.

Oh, and guess what? I’m getting published! I submitted something for the YW Literary Journal back in February, and I got accepted! It’s only a short story, but I still felt great when I found out; ’tis called Burnt Sausages. I can’t wait! To see something that I wrote on paper, and I mean, like, book paper. I’ll post the link when it comes up for sale, and, if you want, you can buy it. Heh.

Sorry for the brief post once again! Just had some things I wanted to share. Heh. Oh, and no more exams for about a fortnight, methinks, so I have spare time.

Best,
Mark