Poetry – W.H. Auden’s Funeral Blues

Had a rather depressing English lesson about death poems today, but this one has only one word: beautiful.

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Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
silence the pianos and with muffled drum
bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
my working week and my Sunday rest,
my noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
for nothing now can ever come to any good.

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I just like it. =] Getting into poetry a bit myself, and I particularly liked a comment someone in my class made:

“Why would a poet write poetry?”

“becuz theyr sadd!!!!1!11one”

And this is while he’s exercising he’s rather thrilling variety of life, or rather, flicking bits of paper at people. Yah. He’s cool. I want to be him.

I think it’ll be a while before I post any of mine, though. XD

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

What would you ask them?

Christopher Paolini, Gloria Tesch, all those self-published self-loving writers. What would to ask them? For Paolini, I’d probably ask which novel he sees as his best and why he ignores criticism so much. Being slightly more civilised, he’d probably provide a somewhat comprehensible answer – if a bad one. Tesch on the other hand, would probably just scream at me. XD

But what specific questions would you ask Gloria Tesch? Robert wants to know.

So, yeah. Robert (Svivality) also came across this little gem. That link should send you to the amazon reader, and just flicking through it, I think we’ve found another lulzworthy self-published book. I like how it says she got a train through Britain then went to England. Because obviously England is not the largest province in the UK – no, no. Course. The writing is, I think, slightly better – if only by the slightest – than Maradonia. Tesch, ma dear, you’ve competition.

She doesn’t seem to have an email so I can’t email her. =( Ah well. Apparently, if you criticise it, she’ll appear nearby and say that it’s a children’s book so you have no right. XD Neil Gaiman said something about Children’s fiction being banned. And I agree with him. People like this woman basically say, “ZOMG CHILDREN ARE STEWPID THEY CANT HANDLE PROPA BOOKS HAHAHA.”

Adults shouldn’t be reading her books. Only 9- to 14-year-olds. Anyone else who reads it or writes a review about it is weird and sick.

But this particular book brings a storm. You can find it in Waterstones and Barnes and Noble. That’s right. Two of the largest book shop chains in the world, and they stock Antigua. There is no hope.

I thought I should update this blog.

But for the benefit of this not going entirely about weird self-published literary crap, let’s talk about me. ME ME ME ME ME. Merry Mourners is coming along nicely – but I lost my train of thought with it with all the exams, so I’ve only done about 3000 words in two weeks. Rubbish. Now all I’ve got his history coursework which, as soon as it’s done (by preferably tonight) I can do moar writin and cool stuff.

I’m so booooring.

Hmm.

Oh, and watch this:

XD Maybe you just have to watch the Apprentice to find it funny.